Ending A Perfectly Lonely Day
I'm so glad Valentine's Day is over. I spent most of the day wondering what CT was doing and if he thought about me or our baby at all. My phone is off (Qwest and I got into a fight and they won and in turn disconnected my shit) so if he tried I wouldn't know. He has my GrandCentral number though and no message from him there. Amazingly, it gets easier each day. I still love him with all of me and I miss him more than I can explain. I'm devastated. I know we didn't plan this baby but I didn't expect him to be so cold and mean. You'd think I got pregnant on a one night stand! We've known each other 7 years - I don't deserve this. I've been loyal. I've been waiting. I always just knew that we would get married in the end... but this seems to be the end and I don't hear the wedding bells. I don't hear anything but his voice telling me that I'm weak and that what I thought we had all these years doesn't matter. I can't believe he thinks so little of me! I wish I'd known sooner - wish I'd paid attention - wish I'd walked away any number of the times he did. Oh well - I've got to move on.
No comments:
Post a Comment