Setbacks, Hurdles & Roadblocks. All My Own

I am not at all where I want to be.  I am no closer today than I was yesterday or even 6 months ago.  Actually, I would venture to say I'm farther behind! My house is still a mess.  I still allow CT to affect me.  I'm still broke and on welfare.  But NOW, pleasantly enough I also am no longer in school and need to find a new place to live.

I am going to try and spin this positively because I know that a lot of times my problems are blessings in disguise.  I am better than what I am doing right now and perhaps this current discomfort will help me light a bigger fire within that will enable me to prosper.  Maybe it will be what helps me to jump start my battery and fight this depression I've fallen into.

For anyone who hasn't really experienced it - Depression SUCKS.  It's like my mind, body and emotions are all separate entities working against each other.  In the midst of all the hustle and bustle (or lack thereof) is a thick murky fog.  I can't remember what I'm supposed to be doing sometimes, other times I cannot focus on what I am trying to do.  The majority of the time I don't have the energy to even try.  I started meds a month or two ago but they certainly aren't miracle pills!  I also started seeing a therapist again.  That's been helpful.  Not sure if I would've been able to work through this mess without her help.  She tells me every week, "Depression is a heavy weight fight.  It's long and its hard, but you have to fight to win."

I know she's right and I am fighting but I also realize I'm not yet fighting hard enough.  I need to step it up a bit mentally.  I need to shift my paradigm.  I need to look at these setbacks, hurdles and roadblocks as lessons and opportunities.  I need to focus on positives!  I need to find 3 positive things about my day, everyday.  It can't hurt, right? :)

Today's Positives:

1. Once I got out of bed, I stayed out of bed.
2. I cooked all our meals today instead of eating out.
3. I gave my girls baths so they're clean and fresh for daycare tomorrow.
4. I blogged! (Lookit there! I found 4! lol)